God's Got It Under Control!

Well I officially am a bad blogger! I really have no excuse except that I am busy?! Ha yeah right..

I have done a lot of thinking over the past week and have now decided that I absolutely HATE hate birth control. Reason being?? I feel like a crazy person when I am on it! I have been on and off birth control since getting married. I was getting really bad migraine headaches so Will and I finally decided that it wasn't worth it since my headaches would make living almost impossible. All good right...wrong. Somewhere among all the changing of pills trying to find one that worked I got pregnant in July! Ekkk! So excited! Then I had a miscarriage (which by the way people, REALLY sucked! Anyways..ever since then I have been having really bad cramping. We finally went to the doctor the end of Dec. (yeah I'm one of those nurses who is a bad patient and has to be forced to go to the doc) After a million questions he think that I may have Endometriosis. Hard to describe but pretty much it cause scar like tissue to build up on your female parts. So my OBGYN decided BC is going to be the best thing for me at this time...it suppose to help with all the cramping and pain. So BACK to the above statement on why I HATE birth control! I am SO moody!! I cry at the drop of a hat ( I usually am never like that) I cry at everything. Oh and the cramping and pain!??! yeah its still there... Lately I have been especially moody when it comes to the subject of: Babies... Mainly I think its because I love kids and I really want my own one day! I think some of my problem comes from the fact that I have NO idea what is going on with my body. If I do have endometriosis it can cause infertility. We are suppose to be going back to the OBGYN in the middle of Feb. so hopefully then we will find out what is going on. Its just frustrating sometimes when it seems babies are everywhere & it seems like everyone I know is pregnant. I have to keep telling my self that God has a perfect plan and he knows what he is doing, but its still hard sometimes. I have decided through all this that my husband is the most thoughtful man ever! He was so sweet listening to me (when I finally decided to talk to him about my feelings) I feel like he understands my feelings! He great! Very supportive! I am SO blessed!! So my plans for the week is to try and remember that "God's got it all under control and I don't have to worry about a thing!

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand~Philippians 4:6-7~

My First Blog

Okay so I'm not really sure about this whole blogger thing but I have decided to give it a try! Although I am sure that no one is really going to care to here about the ramblings of a "Mississippi Gal" but here I go:

I stayed home today because I wasn't feeling good. Sore throat, stuffy nose--the CRUDD! I didn't sleep good last night either so I didn't figure I would do any good at work. Today I have in fact found out that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing on TV during the day, although come to think about it there is usually never anything on any other time either. I was feeling better this afternoon so I decided to scrapbook for a bit, something I like to do but only get it out and actually do it once every few months. I usually use up all my creativeness in one sitting and have to wait that long for my creativeness to re-charge. So after an few hours (and all of my creativeness was gone) I started thinking about last week. It was a really hard week for me. I had one of my patients to pass away. It was one of the hardest ones I think that I have ever experienced. I don't think that I have ever been so effected by one. (For those of you who don't know I am nurse and I work for a Home Hospice Agency) Anyway my day went something like this: I woke up and went to work like any other day, I had been dreading this for some reason and really didn't want to go in but I did. I got to work and started getting all my paper work ready for my day and one of our other nurses came up to me and said she had a call the previous night on one of my soon to be pts. Okay, before I say this next part let me first say I had never met this person in my life! Anyway she said she was talking to the patients wife and she had asked if Jane Nurse (names not real :-) ) if she was going to be their nurse and she told them that it was going to be me. The wife then went on to ask if I had black hair and Jane Nurse said "Yes! Do you know her" to which the wife responds, "No but my husband does. He said the other night he had a dream that he saw a tall, thin girl with black (or dark hair) wearing red and a white jacket standing at the head of his bed." Okay can I just say after Jane Nurse told me all of this I was REALLY freaked because I was wearing: Red scrubs and a white jacket. And for those of you who don't know me I am tall and have dark hair. This man who I didn't know and had never met had just described me. WOW freaky! So from the moment I walked into this persons house and met this man's wife emotions where running high. I started continuous care so I could be with family. This lady, who's husband was dying needed me...needed someone to tell her everything was going to be okay. As the day went on and I got this man comfortable and resting I began talking to his wife who went on to tell me what a fine man he had been. He was a very Christian man for what his wife said. They had been married for 35+ years and he had been in the military for many years. He had just been diagnosed with cancer in May and now he was about to die. I comforted her best I knew how. This was the kind of family that from the moment you began talking to this family and ALL the relatives (sisters, in-laws, daughters, grandkids etc) you felt like you knew them, like you where apart of the family. My patient passed away at 4:15 that afternoon with me standing at the head of his bed and his wife holding his hand... It was horrible. The absolute worst death I have ever experienced in my life. The whole family was in such turmoil about this man dying. As I attempted to comfort all the family of this sweet man I began to think about how precious life is and how blessed we are to have every minute that we do. After 3 more hours (waiting for the family to say goodbye, funeral home and coroner to come) His wife came up to me and asked me if I had heard the story of her husband "seeing" me. I told her yes and how sorry I was...She told me that she was so thankful that I had been with them during this time of loss and that God knew just what he was doing when he chose me to be his nurse. Depressing as this might all seem, I am and always will be so glad that I went to work that day and that God was able to use me to minister to this family who was in so much pain. It reminded me that God has a perfect plan for everything and he knows just what he is doing when he puts you in certain places. Okay y'all I won't depress you anymore!! :-) I promise every day isn't like that!! Some days little old people beat me up!! haha I just thought it was a neat story. Something I doubt I will ever forget!! Bye for now from a " Mississippi Gal"